tell me a reason not to; and i won't.

The signal is subtle
click on the flowers on the right for easier navigation

We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another

There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden

So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

i was digging up some old letters that Zameer & I exchanged over during our relationship. 3am in the morning, with Boston playing on my stereos, i found some phrases i think many could relate to. oh & if you were wondering what i was doing reading letters at 3 bloody am in the morning, that's because i only decided to burn every memory of zameer & me. i can't keep on holding for a year already, can i? the memories are just a passing facade now. sighs.

phrases;

I'm scared of what I saw, of what I did, of who I became, but most of all I'm scared of walking out of this place and never feeling the rest of my life the way I feel when you're with me.
the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy
sometimes no matter how long you loved me, i might never love you back. & sometimes you have to be just ok with that, baby.
the truth is, those things that i used to love & adore about you.... these are now the things i hate so much.
i thought if i do such things, i would help you to just hate me a little bit each day.
I miss you when something really good happens, because you're the first person i want to call & share it over with. I miss you when something is bugging me, because you're the one who would make everything seem allright again. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow, and kiss my tears away. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lay awake at night, and think of all the wonderful times that we spent with each other for those were some of the best times of my life.....that i just could never have again.

the end.
i have moved on from this whole shenanigans that has forbade me to explore the world & its offerings. i've missed out on a lot for the one whole year that i closed my heart & eyes, for nothing more than just zameer ali. & now that everything's back to normal again without the usual sleepless nights & peals of wailing, i want to thrust out there & do all the things i never managed to. i want to go wakeboarding, i think i should take up the pottery classes, i should spend more time with the parentals & mates, i should go skinny-dip one day, join hiphop dance classes & focus myself again on the theatrical drama.

there's just a tad too many things i want to do; and i will try to accomplish them. i miss being sixteen all over again. maybe this is the time for me to open up once again. only then, will i know my purpose of life.

word.