Friday, October 06, 2006

How do you manage to bring out the vulnerability in me;
when we barely even know of each other's existence?
I'm scared shitless.
I vowed never to confront my fears, let alone allow a single soul to do so.
And here I am being such an avid reader of your Eljay.
Crying away because with every word you wrote,
it spoke my thoughts; thoughts I usually pushed to the back of my mind.
I fear what I feel and what I'm afraid to feel.
Thereby the reason why I pushed every dread away by guarding myself.
So please for fucksake,
close down your eljay/stop penning my thoughts/just go away.
actually it's not even his fault. i'm just allowing a stranger to make me strip my emotions free.good or bad? i don't know. i don't want to open up, i just refuse to. geddit?And the worst part is;
He's a non-conformist & a post hardcore activist.
We don't even share the same bloody ideals;
I'm a girl who used to be so judgemental & would incessantly
complain about the horrific sight of such people on the streets.
I think my friends can vouch for that especially Vinodhen.
And now I intend to swallow my words back as of today.
I never expected that the last person on Earth who would have
understood me most and allowed me to open up honestly;
would be a stranger I've never heard of/approved before.