Sunday, October 08, 2006
My first real kiss?Somewhere on the couch right after a sumptious feast
that he conjured up as a suprise for me on our fourth date.
Cliche as this may seem, I felt the world coming to a standstill.
Just him, me & the slight sounds coming from the television.
I love how he knew he can get away with teasing me about
my red cheeks/cute sniggers which ended up with me snorting away.
My heart did random somersaults each time his breath brushed my lips;
he just had a thing for whispering/talking silently in between kisses.
Sometimes he pulled away when I'm immersed in the intimacy of it all
but i knew........
I didn't want to tear myself away from his grasp, I just needed to hold him.
i cried last night, finally after months of this self-consumated strength.
i've been trying to guard myself from calling out for him/messaging him/
calling him/sending endless letters/holding on to distant memories.
but last night was the final call;
his friend randomly added me on friendster ( i don't even know this guy?!)
and so i browsed through the pictures & i caught glimpses of him.
he's jolly happy, he seems gay and he's having fun.
he still plastered that hesitant smile which i loved about him.
he still had his skateboard by his side & his ipod earpiece in his ears.
he was still the same old guy i had fallen in love with;
so why am i changing to be someone i'm not?
i've given him more credit than he deserves;
i'm such a silly creature.
so i thrust the knife right into my heart while i twist my senses out.